Before She Learns to Scroll, She’ll Learn Who She Is

She’s only four.
Too young for a phone. Too little to scroll.
But already, we’re holding the line.

Because one day, she’ll ask.
One day, she’ll know what Instagram is.
But today? She thinks the best kind of stories come from books, and the best kind of friends are the ones who sit beside her in the grass.

And we want to keep it that way, for as long as we can.

Childhood is Sacred (and Serious) Work

Kids are always in a hurry to grow up.
They don’t know how fleeting it is; how full of becoming.
And sometimes, I think parents unintentionally rush them along. Handing over devices, opening doors to worlds they’re not quite ready for. But childhood is holy ground. Being a kid is important work. There’s no need to fast-track it.

Watching Adolescence on Netflix wrecked me.
That scene: where the parents are sobbing, saying they thought he was safe in his room on the computer?
It gutted me.

Because the world is loud and fast and cruel sometimes.
And screens can be that wide-open door.

We’re not raising her to perform.
We’re not raising her for the algorithm.
We’re raising her to know who she is, as God made her. Not as the world wants to shape her.

What Screen Time Looks Like in Our House

We’re not screen-free, but we are screen-conscious.

• She’s allowed to play learning games like Osmo on an iPad — with supervision.

• We watch shows or movies together.

• But we avoid social media in front of her altogether. She doesn’t even know it exists yet, and that’s by design.

We’re not perfect at this. Sometimes we get caught in the scroll when we should be catching eye contact instead. But we’re working on it: choosing connection, putting phones away, playing games on the porch instead.

What We’re Saying Yes To

It’s not just a “no” to screens, it’s a “yes” to:

• Coloring, play dough, books, and art

• Gardening and getting messy

• Walks and I Spy… games and bonfires after dinner

• Watching us, her parents, create: on the flower farm, at the writing desk

We want her to know she was made to build, to play, to notice — not just consume content.

On Pushing Back Against Pressure

Yes, it’s hard. Especially in public.

It would be easier to hand her a tablet at a restaurant. But we don’t. Sometimes people give us the look. That silent suggestion: “Just give the kid a screen.”

And sometimes Drew worries: what if she falls behind the tech curve?

But we remind ourselves:
Letting her be a child is not falling behind.
It’s giving her a head start in all the ways that matter.

I’d tell any mama feeling torn: trust your gut.
You know your child best.
Giving them their full childhood is one of the greatest gifts you’ll ever give.

Looking Ahead

When it comes time to revisit the tech conversation, we want to lead with intention, not fear.

We’ll ask ourselves:

• Is she rooted in who she is?

• Does she know her worth comes from God, not likes?

• Does she have a strong inner voice, and the confidence to use it kindly?

• Will this help her shine her light, or will it dim it?

More than anything, we want her to enter the digital world with a clear heart; not chasing approval, but carrying purpose.
To add beauty. Not noise.
To influence in the truest sense of the word: by being a light.